Heh heh, I see we have a certain 'retconned' redhead.
Interesting so far... I assume you'll be continuing it? It'll be a whole different story as she won't have a radio that will allow the guys to get into contact with her... and no Proton Packs to help break through to the portal in the Peoplebuster Containment Unit.
Just a few mistakes I noticed.
"I just like these lunch breaks, too bad there so short.
The correct phrase should be: "too bad they're so short"
Crap, I forgot my break is almost up." She said to her self.
The correct word is: "herself"
That’s of the ordinary, maybe I should call the guys."
I assume you meant: "out of the ordinary"
"Can’t be that bad." Ray told her.
Well, true, I don't suppose it would be too bad... but tornados aren't common in New York, as it's not in 'Tornado Alley'. A weather formation occuring in an area it's not known to usually occur in would be a sign to be concerned about.
A few tips/suggestions:
At the same time Janine was calling the four Ghostbusters: Dr. Peter Venkman who is Caucasian with brown hair wearing a brown flightsuit with blue trimmings, Dr. Egon Spengler who is a tall Caucasian with blond hair that has an unusual curl on it wearing a blueish green flightsuit with pink trimmings, Dr. Raymond "Ray" Stantz who is a overweight Caucasian with red hair and wearing a tan and brown flightsuit, & Winston Zeddemore who is of African American decent with black hair wearing a aqua flightsuit with red trimmings were doing separate things to pass the time. Ray was playing his Game Boy, Winston was working on their car Ecto-1, Egon was reading a book, & Peter was watching TV.
Don't feel pressured to use terms like 'caucasian' and 'african american'. Black and white are/should still be perfectly acceptable terms...
The characterisation seems a little off... would I be right in assuming that English is your first language?
I suppose it can be fixed a little, Janine would most likely quipp: "Typical, my first decent lunch break in months and the paranormal has to find me."
But then, those are just suggestions.
Looking forward to the continuation, if you do so.
Reminds me to try get back to the Apocrypha stories... and get the RGB: Apochrypha version of Flip Side done...