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Post by Fritz on Dec 4, 2005 17:24:47 GMT -4
Ghostbusters West Coast: Where in the World Is Chelsea Aberdeen? Part OneBy Fritz Baugh 2004--Timeline Year Twenty Two The GBWC has fallen apart, and Fritz Baugh is not far behind--the love of his life has vanished, leaving only mystery and confusion in her wake. Will the help of Vincent Belmont, Bo Holbrook, and Jen Spengler be enough to help him find her--and pull himself from the brink of dispair?
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CJ
Doberman
Doom Patrol...Yeah you heard right
Posts: 99
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Post by CJ on Jan 4, 2006 16:06:53 GMT -4
I meant to post my thoughts on this when I read it two weeks ago but never got around to it.
The opening bits with Fritz appearing back at Kmart hit alot closer to home than you would think. It's been four months since I was fired and I still feel like Fritz did every time I go in there. But, I digress.
At the end, I found myself going like a Carrollian character: Curiouser, and curiouser...
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Post by EGBFan on Jan 4, 2006 16:57:24 GMT -4
We all know how personal this one is. CJ, really? It's amazing how truly evil employers seem to be these days. The fiasco my mother went through last year...
"Curiouser and curiouser" is Alice in Wonderland, isn't it?
But I digress. I honestly can't remember whether I told Fritz this by e-mail or not, so I'll say again: a sensitive and personal piece - we always write better the more familiar the subject. And, yes, intriguing.
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Post by Fritz on Jan 4, 2006 18:13:13 GMT -4
I think, for those who read it, that in many ways this is the most personal story I've tackled yet.
I try vehemently NOT to put "myself" at center stage, to both develop other characters and of course keep the hell away from Mary Sue-ism. I put some of "my" backstory on the stage previously in "Home Turf", but that was also to develop Leon Hogan who, at the time, was slated to be an important character as well.
I similarly try not to overdo the developments in Fritz and Chelsea's relationship--I put most of the romantic stuff in the Egon/Janine stories, and don't want to crowd out the other characters of the GBWC.
But this idea's been rolling in my head for a while now--even back when Ludicris was still running the GBWC. With the developments in Real Life and in the status quo of the GBWC (which took effect early last year) it grew in importance to "my" development.
So it hurt maybe a little more than it should've that it first got a resounding *yawn* from the readership as a whole.
Anyway, some of the people who show up in there are people I know in Real Life. "Corey Jones" is a friend I still see frequently (actually, since he doesn't have a car, I still end up giving him rides to work a few times a week). "Bernice Roderick" is someone I've really dealt with..."Pauline Aberdeen" is indeed based on the mother of the real "Chelsea Aberdeen" (though the real "Chelsea's" parents never divorced; that was a bit of backstory to accomidate Kyle Stevens's bugbear story)
Actually, I'd intended at one point to write Ogre into this one too, but it never seemed like a smooth fit--he always felt shoehorned in. Maybe later, when the story reaches it's eventful conclusion...
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Post by Miss Janine on Jan 4, 2006 18:47:40 GMT -4
Stories based on real-life events, especially those of the author, are always the hardest to write. Caveat- I've never really tried to do it myself, but I can imagine how it must be. I noticed the "personalness" (is that even a word?) in the first paragraph. When I finished reading it, the first thing I did was take a deep breath. I think I said something like that in my post on the story. I don't see Fritz and Chelsea as being like Egon and Janine, strictly because Fritz and Chelsea are based to some extent on real people. And since that's the case, IMO, that makes the story that much more poignant. Maybe we've just gotten so used to all the blasting and running around that stories like this don't immediately stand out. I think back to something Fritz said in another post somewhere, about a story like Clinically Insane, a character-driven piece that had NO ghosts and not even a Ghostbuster in sight. Or the other one he mentioned, Illogical Reaction, which was a reaction story. Yes, a character was really OOC, but there was a reason for it (and he DID pay for it the next day!). To me, each story is treasured as part of a whole, a rich, lush tapestry of the lives of characters we all love. And that includes all of them, not just the Guys From New York.
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Post by EGBFan on Jan 4, 2006 19:11:43 GMT -4
I'm sorry, Fritz. I read it pretty much as soon as I got it - I wish to state that, for the record. I still don't remember whether I commented by e-mail. I guess I never will know now. Also, I apologise in advance for instances when I forget to comment again, should any arise.
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Post by Dr. Vincent Belmont on Jan 4, 2006 21:04:59 GMT -4
I try vehemently NOT to put "myself" at center stage, to both develop other characters and of course keep the hell away from Mary Sue-ism. I put some of "my" backstory on the stage previously in "Home Turf", but that was also to develop Leon Hogan who, at the time, was slated to be an important character as well. The thing is, though, that some stories DO revolve around one central figure. This happens in many of our favorite shows. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Sometimes we need these to be able to flesh out a charcter we may be following. Again, what's wrong with that? This story and its title would be very strange if Fritz and Chelsea weren't the center of attention. There are some of us who would like to know all of the really personal stuff involving these characters....because some of us need material for our stories that might contain those two. (nudge nudge, wink wink) Not to mention, me. heh. ;D I've actually been waiting for something like this for awhile. It will be used as resource material for my own works.
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Post by Fritz on Jan 4, 2006 21:20:44 GMT -4
I try vehemently NOT to put "myself" at center stage, to both develop other characters and of course keep the hell away from Mary Sue-ism. I put some of "my" backstory on the stage previously in "Home Turf", but that was also to develop Leon Hogan who, at the time, was slated to be an important character as well. The thing is, though, that some stories DO revolve around one central figure. This happens in many of our favorite shows. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Sometimes we need these to be able to flesh out a charcter we may be following. That's true--that's why I went ahead and did it here. But if I started to do it with every GBWC story, then there'd be a problem. Again...I was referring to the GBWC stories in general. This one is definitely, and intentionally, an exception.
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Post by Silent Seraphim on Jan 5, 2006 0:14:21 GMT -4
Again...I was referring to the GBWC stories in general. This one is definitely, and intentionally, an exception. I like these exceptions. Give me a story about the complexities of inter-personal relationships over a standard blast-em up, and I’ll be a very, very happy girl. Strange, I thought I’d already commented on this story, but it seems I hadn’t. I do really love this story. It’s very obvious that it is written from a very personal perspective, and as Miss Janine already said, that does add a little extra poignancy to the story. As it is, the story itself is very intriguing, and I really do feel for poor Fritz. I’m dying to know what has happened to her!
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Post by Dr. Vincent Belmont on Jan 7, 2006 14:04:27 GMT -4
Just a little bit of refference to the "Vincent is a Mary Sue" debacle....
In this part one, there is one particular bit of dialogue in here that I ASKED to be written in there. It was a phrase I wanted written in to give people the direct declaration that if Vincent were to do anything remotely spectacular, it is not intended to overshadow or steal spotlight...
...and that Fritz is meant to be the hero of the tale.
Here's the piece:
Bo waited until they were out of earshot "John? Wasn't he the one who..."
Vincent nodded. "John Lipsyte. The man the West Coast lost in the Anubis case in April."
Bo nodded his head ruefully. Losing a comrade was a pain he understood all too well.
"I don't like this.." Vincent continued after a pause, reluctant to give the thought voice. "He wasn't like this during the Gozer case. He's falling apart." Vincent sat down. "I feel terrible. There is no spell in all of the tongues of men, or a potion or charm of any make that could ease his suffering."
Bo grunted, and chewed on his cigar for a moment before responding. "Hmph...I thought you said that magic can do anything, Gandalf."
"A spell could only give him a quick fix, and a false emotion. Unfortunately, there is no cure for weariness of the human heart. I can only lend support...but I feel like I'm watching a good friend waste away." Vincent lowered his head solemnly.
There it is, folks...my very intentions to not be looked at in the Mary-Sue light.
The way I see this story going, Fritz has to rescue Chelsea, a la "Knight in Shining Armor" routine. Bo and Vince would go to help Fritz, but one by one, have to part from Fritz, finally, when it's...say...down to Fritz and Vince...for example....
Fritz: What the hell is THAT thing?
Vincent: Great scott! How the hell did these guys fit a DRAGON down here?
Fritz: We must reach Chelsea before that ceremony is complete!
Vincent: Well, Fritz, I guess I was meant to help out here, but you know as well as I do that I can't go further...
Fritz: Magic wards?
Vincent: Nah...YOU gotta be the one to save Chelsea...it's gotta be YOU. Go on, man, she's waiting for you...
...alright, ugly, you're all mine! Run, Fritz! These dragons mean business!
(Fritz runs, and the dragon turns to snap at him....only to have its head blasted by a stroke of lightning)
Vincent: Oh, no you don't!
(Fritz runs in, leaving the sounds of spellslinging, Vincent's taunts, and dragon roars behind. He ran with determination. He had to save Chelsea. She was the only thing in his life that kept him sane. Without her, he felt empty. His friends helped him out as much as they could, but in the end....Vincent was right...it HAD to be him that brought Chelsea back....it wouldn't make a good story, otherwise, would it?)
I'm actually anxious to see how the tale unfolds, Fritz...any word when I might see it hit my inbox?
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Post by Fritz on Jan 7, 2006 18:17:25 GMT -4
I'm not sure at this point. Between the Holidays, some ideas for revising the GBNY pages, and some non-GB stuff (I've been doing some much needed updating of digimon.ectozone.net ) I haven't worked much on part 2 yet.
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Post by Fritz on Mar 14, 2006 10:40:11 GMT -4
Okay. here it is at last... Ghostbusters West Coast: Where in the World Is Chelsea Aberdeen? Part Two 2004--Timeline Year Twenty Two A chance discovery by Jen Spengler leads the investigation into a new direction that bears fruit. As Fritz investigates a run down amusement park with Bo Holbrook, Jen and Vincent Belmont confront Chelsea Aberdeen's aunt Dorothy--and make more than one shocking discovery.
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Post by Kingpin on Mar 14, 2006 12:24:36 GMT -4
Been looking forward to the next instalment for a long time. Firstly, it's giving us more insight into the degeneration of Fritz Baugh, and to a lesser extend, the suffering the author went through in the real life basis of the Ghostbuster's health problem.
We also see more of Chelsea's family, and her crazy aunt.
A return to a familiar RGB comic location, and some amusing references to past Nightsquad and Vincent Belmont events. Including a little nod to those who have been around long enough to get one of the jokes.
The mystery deepens a little more with Jen's own visions and the absense of any contact from Fritz's former West Coast buddies definately can't be helping his condition.
Looking forward to the next part.
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Post by Silent Seraphim on Mar 14, 2006 14:55:49 GMT -4
This story just gets better and better. There’s not really much else that I can add that Kingpin hasn’t already mentioned. I really love the way you write Bo. The guy is a great character. Fritz’s rant against Bush was very topical, and no doubt also a projection of his frustration about Chelsea. Bo and Fritz’s conversation at Toad Island was both touching and heartfelt, and the gripping end to the story makes me desperate to read more. Great going on this one, Fritz. Excellent stuff.
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CJ
Doberman
Doom Patrol...Yeah you heard right
Posts: 99
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Post by CJ on Mar 14, 2006 15:20:24 GMT -4
Tres cool is what this story is.
My opinion is light, but I still loved the inner mystery of it all.
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