Ghostbusting 102: Demon Days

[CJ]

Well, I finished the first part of how Ray met Egon and Peter (like tradition dictates, he meets Peter first before he actually meets Egon) and I've thrown in the pivotal first encounter with Draverhaven.

Ghostbusting 102: Demon Days

A little note: this story heavily follows the original, Ghostbusting 101: Meeting of the Minds with some of the characters from that popping up here. Enjoy and await Part 2 sometime in the next week or so

[Kingpin]

Nuts... A few more weeks, got some stuff outta the way and I could have released the first part of 'GB101: Second Semester', which takes place a few years after the first, and establishes some other stuff...

EDIT: After reading... a few pointers...

Uncle Gaylord: A nice little reference, but unfortunately anchronastic. Ray didn't know about his 'long lost uncle' until his death was revealed in The Joke's on Ray.

Spelling mistake:

"The pursuit of knowledge is the greatest rewarad of all." Reward

Venkman Burn In HELL! Nice

He sighed. "Alright, sorry if I'm being a little harsh. I've had a rough day so far and..." His eyes suddenly fell to the runic design pattern in the pentagram. "Is that...are those...Atlantean?" The formatting makes it look like Draverhaven says both.

"...wrong when he's writing the Legion." Bady, very bad.

Solomon Yeager I can't say for sure... but I thought the common conception was Yaneaver Yeager? I could be wrong.

Columbia has a bell tower?

[CJ]

Sorry to have beat you to the punch Ben, but your version will probably be a bit more entertaining anyway.

[SuperStantzio]

That's pretty good and I like it keep up the good work!

[Kingpin]

CJ: I made amendments to my reply after I read the story.

Well, I'll try get a version up so people can read the first half anyway, though the second half is yet unfinished and not totally wound up in the planning.

[CJ]

Uncle Gaylord: A nice little reference, but unfortunately anchronastic. Ray didn't know about his 'long lost uncle' until his death was revealed in The Joke's on Ray.

I knew I shouldve brushed up a bit on that episode

"The pursuit of knowledge is the greatest rewarad of all." Reward

I believe you said it best once: I'm a good writer but a terrible speller

He sighed. "Alright, sorry if I'm being a little harsh. I've had a rough day so far and..." His eyes suddenly fell to the runic design pattern in the pentagram. "Is that...are those...Atlantean?" The formatting makes it look like Draverhaven says both.

I see your point re-reading it. I'm working on re-formatting the sentence, making it a little bit clearer as to who's talking.

Solomon Yeager I can't say for sure... but I thought the common conception was Yaneaver Yeager? I could be wrong.

Columbia has a bell tower?

Solomon came to me out of the blue, without knowledge of another name. I had no idea their was a common conception in regards to Yeager.

And the Bell Tower, I just think it's a nice little touch to the old fashioned establishment mentality that Columbia had in the first movie.

[Fritz]

I haven't read it yet (I will, I promise) but I will speak to his one point:

No,. there has been no "official" first name for Dean Yeager. I called him "Vanevar" in Ghost Stories, though...which would make that his official name in the GBOT version, I guess.

[Kingpin]

On the name: Not a problem, I originally intended to float 'Margulies' as the Mayor's name.

And Fanfiction.net is a bitch to format right, why do they need to make it so difficult? I'm sure not everyone has the patience to keep meddeling with the story until it looks right.

[Silent Seraphim]

I really do love this story, CJ.

Aside from E/J stories, fics about the guys early years together are some of my favourite. In my opinion, there aren't enough of them out there. I love the way you've included Draverhaven in this, and the first meeting between he and Ray is particuarly interesting given the relationship between them both later on in the 88MPH comics.

[Kingpin]

CJ: After having a whole day to let it set it, I think it was mostly surprise... Iain was a little urked that no prior warning was given... but I suppose none of us had said anything about wanting to take over where we left off... so I can't fault you on not wanting to continue it...

And I thought your surname was 'London'

[CJ]

I actually reverted back to my real last name. London just sounded so fake now for some reason (but is still my chief fanfiction character's surname) ;D

I guess I should have said how much of GB101 I would have been following (i.e. references to Ryan Harness, Scott Jackson) and contacted the principles involved in the original. (further word of warning: I am planning one more story featuring Scott Jackson, but it's in the 1989 timeline year.)

If it means anything, before I submit Part 2, I'll mail it off to you guys and see what you say about it first

[Kingpin]

Much appreciated mate, though I don't know how much of the sentiment Iain'll share.

[CJ]

Well, I had a talk with Iain the other day and found the full details out. He's alright with the idea of getting any further progress of the story, but suggested since we both have two divergent college stories in progress, that maybe we could team up for an "Ultimate Edition", much in the same vein as the original GB101.

[Fritz]

Er...I hadn't commented on this one yet? Shame on me...

I liked the way Ray's actual entrance to Columbia was handled and his meeting with Draverhaven. It kind of makes sense, based on Legion, that Ray would meet him first. They pretty much say that, out of the three others, Micheal felt Ray was the only one who really liked him.

Their meeting with Venkman, drunk out of his gourd, pounding on their door. Funny scene

Ray and Mike swapping comic book stories. I loved the Legion of Superheroes references--they've been a favorite of mine since, oh, right before Zero Hour. And it somehow seems like an appropriate little in-joke to the fact that "Legion" was the subtitle of the 88MPH minni-series.

The return of Scott Jackson. Made a lot of sense and handled well.

On the Gaylord thing...I duno, I haven't watched that one in a long time, but I think there's some room for this to work. Ray mentions he was "long lost" but in the same episode, Gaylord's will said he gave Ray his joke shop because he had "the worse sense of humor of anyone in the family" or something like that, implying that there was at least some knowledge there.

Here were my nitpicks (aside from the previously mentioned Dean Yaeger name issue) :

While it's not "set in stone", lines deleted from GB1 imply that Ray met Venkman first and he introduced Ray to Egon. Granted, this sorta happens here if you squint real hard, I guess...common fan assumption is that Ray and Venkman met in an Engineering class (before Venkman dumped it for realizing it wouldn't be about trains)

And it would seem strange that, three years after entering the university, Venkman would be in the same Parapsychology class as Ray. It's presumably an entry level course. At least some explaination should be in order--say Venkman flunked out of it back in 1973 and didn't retake it until now? I think it's one more reason that (to me) the Engineering class would work better.

Egon as a member of the Medical staff seems a little odd too. He mentions in "The Haunting of Heck House" that he has some first aid training, but this seems more befitting someone intending to go to Medical school or life sciences.

But the bottom line is that there is a lot I like here. And yeah, maybe like GB101, the "final" GBOT story of Ray's entry to Columbia will take the best parts of both your version and the one Ben is working on, just as I took the original GB101 by Iain, some of Ben's ideas, and a tweak or two of my own to make the version of GB101 that is enshrined in GBOT canon.

[Kingpin]

CJ, do you have anything like MSN or AIM? I've found this can allow for better feedback/discussion then email, if you're able to use it.